I'm Samoan.

I'm also half white, though, but onstage, I tend to talk more about the Samoan stuff because that's what...took.

Like, none of you saw me take the mic out of the stand and braced yourself for some hardcore Irish comedy, did you?

I used to card people for alcohol, which makes sense, but I also carded people for CBD.

Are y'all familiar with the hardcore street drug... [Laughter] CBD?

Jesus: Adam, how'd you feel seeing Mom and Dad up there?

It was fun.

It was fun, though I was keenly aware of which jokes they were and were not laughing at.

-Oh, man.

-Apparently, my dad doesn't know a lot about CBD.

I thought opioids were the problem.

Turns out diet weed is where we got to lock it down... [Laughter] because my old boss was scared some kid's gonna go behind the gym and get a teensy bit more ready for bed than he was a half-hour ago.

Mom: I didn't know you had that many clean jokes.

Jesus: That's great.

Adam: I cut it short, Ma.

I had so much more stuff about the kids.

[Laughter] My brother closest to me in age, he has 8 children because that's what you get when you mess with Samoans.

Also, he married a Mormon lady.

That might be part of it, too.

He married a Mormon lady.

Wonderful Mormon lady with semiautomatic reproductive organs.

Pow!

Every year firing another one.

My youngest brother only has one baby, but to make up for it, his kid weighed 10 1/2 pounds when he was born because that's what you get when you mess around with Samoans.

Y'all, my name is Adam Pasi.

Thank you so much for coming out and supporting this.

[Cheering and applause] Mom and Dad, I love you.

Thank you, guys.

Have a great rest of your night.