Our members basically are folks that are struggling with social isolation.

These are folks that are looking for friendships, but in some way, for whatever reason, are struggling with how to make that happen and how to how to ultimately be happy with their social lives.

Psychologist Nicholas Macaroni co-founded The Social Cog in 2012 after noticing a gap in services for young adults on the autism spectrum.

A lot of our guys were starting to, uh, to age out of their services.

They were turning 18 and hitting what we call a services cliff.

We just didn't have the structure of services for them.

And so in 2012, I was approached by my co-founder, Natalie Broidy, and she basically came to me and said, listen, my son, Joshua Davis, he's sitting at home.

He's, uh, he's isolated.

He's trying so hard to make friends, and it's just not working out for him.

He doesn't need a social skills group.

He's already had those.

He doesn't need a meetup group.

He's got those.

What he needs is a program that combines the meetup group with support that goes on in between.

To help him overcome his obstacles.

We decided that we were going to make it because I have like five other guys on my, uh, on my caseload at the time that were in the exact same spot as Josh was.

That's when the Social Cog was born, a special organization to fill that critical need.

They devised a system called the three cog method.

This includes an accepting peer group, shared social and emotional experiences, and ongoing social coaching therapy.

But none of us are going to make friends with everybody, and we all have different interests and personality styles and everything like that.

And and people in the autism community and, you know, other forms of neurodivergence, they're no different.

But I can guarantee every one of our members that at a minimum, at our outing, every single person that is there has strongly endorsed that.

They are looking to make friends.

So they're a safe person to at least approach and talk to.

That's a very important part of this.

The intrinsic motivation is, is key to having an accepting peer group that helps to alleviate some of the anxiety of of the types of things like like initiating a conversation and fear of rejection that our members have faced a lot of their lives.

From talking to doctor Nick, we're here because it's all about you.

Yeah.

When I was younger, I had a lot of social challenges, went through a lot of different social groups.

Talk about what the social Cog has done for you.

It's actually helped me a lot in terms of being able to be less nervous about things like this, for instance, and also being able to have better communication, especially at work.

I think the coaching piece is such a beautiful part of the program that has just helped the members grow so much.

Veronica Weston is a registered mental health counselor intern and has been a coach with the social Cog since 2021.

So as adults, young adults on the spectrum, what are some of the challenges that are fairly universal that they have to tackle?

I think it's a bit of anxiety before, like initiating a conversation.

Also, just knowing the skills to maintain conversations, finding those common interests.

So I think a lot of our work is that social skill based communication.

We're really breaking down the skills into a very digestible amount.

Like, let's start off with what even is a good friend.

How do I identify those things?

And then we really try to build these skills on each other, which is where the outings come in handy.

That's where our relationship with them is so important because we're asking.

Them to do these really uncomfortable things, we're able to help them self-reflect, able to have them really sit and digest.

Okay, these are my blind spots.

These are the things that I want to work on or my next goals, and also just continuing to encourage them to try something different.

I'm validating, like, I know that this is hard.

I know this isn't easy, but to really, you know, continue to to push yourself because there is an outcome that can work in your favor.

As our members are advancing the program, we scale back the frequency of social coaching and the frequency of support, because ultimately we want them to be able to do these things when they're not in a in a meeting with their social coach.

We want them to be able to know the things to do that are going to help them to develop the friendships that they've already started to form, both within the social club and outside.

I wasn't really doing much.

I didn't have a lot of friends, and I didn't really have a social life really.

And I was really sad that I didn't have a social life.

So when you came here, that was your goal is to change all of.

That, to make friends and have a social life.

And so how is life now?

Would you say, oh.

My God, I have a lot of friends.

I keep up with people even they're not in the car anymore.

And it feels good to.

When I started at social college, Greer was one of my first members.

I've always described her, and I'm sure you've seen, like, she's just a ray of sunshine.

Yeah, like she's just so happy.

She is one of those people where she takes that role now and is really helping out other members who are maybe struggling a bit more because she's been in their shoes, like she's been where it's hard to connect and hard to to have people understand, like way she sees things and where she's coming from.

But now that gives her the opportunity to do that for other people.

And she's always pushing herself.

And, you know, it's the growth in Greer has been so beautiful to see.

We just talked to Josh.

Tell me a little bit about Josh.

We've been together for four years and we're meant to be together.

That's exciting.

So today's your anniversary?

Yeah, yeah.

When we talk about the impact that this has and the changes that we see with our members, I mean, look at our monthly outings.

I see it within a couple of months of somebody being in the program.

You just see them becoming more confident, more, um, able to come out of their shell and to be able to meet people and to talk and feel, uh, and feel accepted and feel like it's safe to be able to do that and that they that they're going to be able to do that successfully.

Um, that part is amazing.

So, Josh, what do you like about Greer?

She's very caring.

It makes me feel very special.

It's so sweet.

And, Greer, what do you like about it?

Everything is a missing puzzle piece of my life, and I'm really glad I have it to spend the rest of my life and live together with him in the future.

What do you think neurotypical people need to know most about people who are neurodivergent or on the spectrum?

I think it's often the assumptions that we make and the preconceptions that we have that set their limits right.

If I don't think, oh, well, they have autism or they're on the spectrum, they can't drive, they can't have a relationship.

So I never even bother talking to them about dating, or I never bothered teaching them how to drive.

But that's not the case.

Like Libya, Josh and Greer, who drive and are in relationship and cook dinner together and all these things.

But if I assume that they can't do these things, then I don't give them the same opportunity that I would give any other child.

You know?

And I think that starts at a young age, but it also continues through adulthood.

So I think it's just taking away those assumptions, taking away that bias and talking to them and seeing where they're at and trying to meet them at that space and support them from there.

You know, we we look to our community to understand what we're doing and to and to help us to do this and to and to bring it to our members.

And, and the fundraisers is like, that's a big piece of our life.

But that that helps us to do that.

For the last four years, we've run an online fundraiser that we call Sunrise to Sunset, where we we run a silent auction.

All of the proceeds help to to keep the costs of the program down and to and to provide scholarships directly to our members who are most financially in need.

Um, and it's just been it that's been great to see the community, um, really come out and support us.

Last year, we had one of our members who was a phenomenally talented artist, and he asked if it would be okay for him to create a couple of pieces for us so that we could sell at auction to help, uh, help raise funds for, uh, for the program that.

He loves.

I do paint a lot of fictional monsters and, like, superheroes.

Uh, but I also do, like, still lives and animals and like anything in general.

What do you think has been the biggest benefit of the social cog for you?

I'm.

I literally like someone who's very compassionate and kind and, like, honest about something.

And when it comes to being like a social cog, I try to like be able to speak to someone who can actually get me.

There's someone who can I actually can relate to who can actually be like my body.

It has really helped me a lot, even when, um, when I see other people out there who also have the same disabilities as me.

The social park has been one of the most rewarding aspects of my career as a psychologist.

To be able to do this and to see our members grow into it and to watch their lives change.

And it's not just our members, it's family members who were so scared and were suffering along with their adult child or their adult sibling.

And to see, like the relief in the families that their family member is going to be okay.

So, you know, folks watching this, what should the rest of the world, people that we might call neurotypical, what should they know about this cohort of people who really are our neighbors, who are our children?

They want connection and love and friendship and shared experience just like anybody else.

And they're really cool.

Um, my members are awesome.

I love talking to them.

They're they have super interesting ideas.

You got to give them the chance.

I mean, they process things a little differently, but that doesn't mean that they don't want friends and that they're not capable of it and that they can't be somebody that can really enrich your life as well.